"Check Out that Orcs Polygon Count!" or Why Practical Effects are better than CGI

Does new and flashy always mean better or more engaging? No way. It is a fairly well known fact that I like watching movies an incredible amount. Slightly less well known is that I prefer the use of practical effects over the likes computer generated effects. Some would argue that this is all because of nostalgia. I grew up watching films with models and make-up, so my view is skewed.  I won't deny that this is statement carries some truth, but, I would say that instead of just a state of nostalgia it is a state of being spoiled by cinema masterpieces. I want to get one thing straight before I dive into this, however. I am not talking about the quality of computer work from one movie to another, I am talking the use of practical vs digital effects. I've seen my fair share of the less-than-B-Roll horror flicks made for the Syfy channel (Seriously, what does syfy mean? It's okay to stay the Sci-Fi Channel) and I will not be tearing into them in this post. I mean, that's just another thing altogether...

5th Grade Photoshop or Birdemic(2011)?

Rather, this post will be examining my opinions on movies that I know had budgets larger than my emergency fund and their choices to go with digital effects in the place of practical effects. Specifically, Star Wars: I-III  and the Hobbit films. Let's begin...

Now, not sticking to the list order that I established in the prior paragraph, let's talk about the Hobbit and why the visuals just aren't as good as the Lord of the Rings trilogy. First of all, I would like to say that I feel Fellowship, Towers, and King are the perfect balance of practical effects and CGI. Creatures that would be too difficult to make lifelike with practical effects were handled with some awesome computer graphics (i.e. The Balrog of Morgoth), with the same approach being used on hordes of enemies in distant shots where it wasn't quite so easy to see they weren't actually physical beings. My complaint about the Hobbit that isn't a problem in LOTR can be summed up with one word: Orcs. We all know and love Orcs as the Stormtrooperesque cannon-fodder of Middle Earth and that our heroes chop them to bits yet maintain a PG-13 rating since they're not quite human, but there was just something different about them in the Hobbit... Oh yeah. They weren't really there! I will admit that there were some practical Orcs in the movie but that was practically negated by the fact that their merry old band leader Azog the claw handed was a severely bland looking CG monster. Supposedly they filmed everything with Azog as an actual person in makeup but then had to go back over and digitally change him because they didn't like the way he looked. Newsflash: CG Azog isn't much better. Every single Orc in LOTR is unique to itself in one way or another and seems alive and real. You can't tell me Lurtz making a trollface at the end of Fellowship when he's about to blast Boromir in the jugular from pointblank range isn't more terrifying than Azog creepin on the Dwarves.

There's something about a creature being physically there with the actors that makes them even scarier.I thought maybe when Desolation of Smaug came out we might get a breath of fresh air when they introduced Azog's son, Bolg...

"Never have I been so wrong..."

  I guess since he was his son I should have known he would be CGI too. I guess it's genetic. The reasoning behind this one was actually just that; "Daddy is CGI so we need to make Azog Jr. bland too." There was actually an actor who filmed the whole movie in full makeup who was just covered up by CGI. He even looked awesome!

Look at him! He looks frightening! This is an amazing achievement in costume and makeup design! I can't wait to see him in the movie!

"Lulz"

Wait... What? That's it? If I was that actor I would be ticked off beyond belief. "Nah, it's okay. You can completely erase me from the follow up to one of the biggest film trilogies of this generation." What a George Lucas move. Before we move on to our next film, I also want to lay down a side complaint: Goblins. The goblins in Unexpected Journey are a joke compared to the ones in Moria. People are telling me things like "Well they're a different breed." That's cool. Their king also looks like the Ballchinian from Men in Black 2.

One last thing. Lurtz.

Childhood Nightmare Fuel

 Moving right along we come to something a little more dear to my heart: Star Wars. I know I could go on and on about the effects in this one and how the magic is gone, and I will, but I'm just going to take a second and give you guys another picture. I like pictures.

Just let it soak in.

To me, this one isn't just about looking bland or generic. To me, the digitization of Star Wars is a step back from reality. It's a step back from the magic that made the original trilogy such a masterpiece. There are too many things that I could try to talk about here so I will just talk about one this time around. My sights are set on Yoda. I understand it would have looked kind of like Kermit sword fighting in Muppet Treasure Island if they would have tried to make Yoda lightsaber fight like they did and he was a puppet, but here's something for you; DON'T GIVE HIM A LIGHTSABER. He's 900 years old, I think it's okay if he forgoes swordplay and just uses the supposed awesome connection to the Force he has to take on whatever evil he may come across. I don't know about you guys, but I thought the best part of the Yoda/Palpatine fight in Episode III was when they lost their sabers and started using the Force. There was so much potential for their fight that was lost because people wanted to see Yoda jumping around again. Imagine Yoda, the Grand Jedi Master, squaring off in a battle of wits and Force ability with newly appointed Emperor Palpatine, Sith Lord. You know... Maybe show them how they were in the Original Trilogy (OT from now on). Forget everything you now know about Yoda and then gather what you can from Empire Strikes Back alone and do the same with the Emperor but from Return of the Jedi with him. They are both clever, very charismatic, and shown as the strongest Force users in the OT. It's like this is a recipe for the best chocolate cake you would ever eat but instead George Lucas took your recipe card you gave him, ripped it up, and pulled out his Easy-Bake oven and called it good. Well, at least CGI Yoda looks better than Episode I puppet Yoda...

 

 

Well, I feel a little better now. Maybe next time I'll complain about having CGI clones instead of actual Stormtroopers and  an all digital space battle instead of models and actual explosions.Anyway, if you read this far, I'm sorry. Feel free to discuss your thoughts on effects in film or tell me how stupid you think my opinion is, because, you know... that's what the internet is for.


Oh... One last thing again...

Lurtz 2.0

Sleep well...